On morning routines, goals and habits

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I’ve gotten good at consuming information on the web, of late, and I’m not sure if that is exactly something I should be proud of, but there it is. As a result, I’ve started to gain a clearer picture of what goals and habits mean to me. For months now, I’ve been trying to hone in on a better morning routine.

For years, I had the nearly perfect morning routine, but then my b/f and I moved in together and I could no longer do my JAPA meditations. This meditation involves repeating sounds like “OM” or “AUM” and frankly I’m not brave enough to make those sounds in front of anyone and you know how apartments are, not exactly sound-proof and with little to no privacy.

He’s also very different than me. He stays up late, takes naps and has his little idiosyncrasies and, yes, I know I have mine. Now, this is not to say that we don’t want to live together anymore, it’s just when you live with other people you have to make room for that other person: physically, spiritually, mentally. You have to learn to make it work and you figure out what is important.

Another challenge is I have a constantly changing work schedule and we moved 3 times since living in Chiang Rai. It’s actually been a hard year here, but that’s what happens sometimes and this is what makes my search for goals and habits that stick essential and hopefully, rewarding. I also want to use my time wisely and be a better person, the best I can be without being one of those super annoying people who does everything right. Ha!

Gretchen Rubin’s quote, “What we do everyday matters more than what we do once in a while” really sat with me and it’s been a bright reminder as far as forming habits are concerned. I think it’s easy for us to remember to do something good for ourselves like exercise, every once in a while and so her quote forces me to think, what is so important that I need to do it every day?

My first year away from home, in college, was the unhealthiest I had ever been. I was in theatre class when we were doing some warm-up exercises and I remember how much it hurt, yes hurt, to do arm circles and general stretches and I thought, Good god, I have got to get into exercise again because this is pathetic. So, over the years I have done all sorts of exercise routines and fails until I finally figured out what I love: yoga and walking/hiking.

When I live close to work, and I deliberately situate myself to be so, I walk.  Oh how I miss hiking and walking in parks, as Thailand (at least where I have lived) does not do parks. Yes, yes, Bangkok has Lumphini, but there is very little shade and it’s a hot frickin’ city. I’m amazed at city planners lack of observations, shade = cooler, no trees = hot, hot, hot. Concrete = hot, grass = not hot.  *rubs temples*

Ah, yes, so every morning I do two very important things, I do yoga and I write. I want to bring meditation back into the routine, but it’s not a priority right now. Meditation is something that I try to practice throughout the day and when your life is filled with interruptions (yeah, I tried getting up earlier than my partner, it doesn’t work) and unpredictable circumstances like invasive construction, setting aside 5-30 minutes of privacy doesn’t work. Maybe in the future, but not right now…meditation can be part of my walking or general waking moments and that’s fine by me. I’m not trying to kill myself.

A lot of advice on the web talked about how taking small steps, making small goals and starting out small is what helps habits to become long lasting. I’ve done New Year’s Resolutions, but I don’t anymore and the last time I gave myself a deadline or a goal, I ended up changing it and feeling rather crappy over it until my b/f talked some good sense at me. So, no more big grand goals, thank you. I think they can do more harm than good. (This is not to be confused with dreaming big.)

Instead, achievable habits like yoga and writing, even if all the yoga I can manage is a handful of sun salutations and all the writing I do is journaling in the morning. I return to Gretchen Rubin’s quote. The point is to do it. I think then building on it becomes an inevitability. And you are more likely to stick with whatever habit you want to form rather than taking a month off (oops) and then forgetting about it or doing it when you have time and then beating yourself up for not doing it more often.

Leo from Zen Habits wrote a really great article on failing faster at habits in order to figure out what works for you. He suggested just a 3 day check in! Doing something for 3 days and then evaluating the change to see how it worked for you. This is radically different than all those lofty goal-setting ideas. Three days is manageable, plus 3 days can be a long time in the world of making and breaking habits. I love it.

Although right now, my focus is to spend less time consuming on the Internet. Even when it’s not junk, I should be creating more. This is in line with wanting to use my time more wisely and to get crackin’ on the next big writing project. Specifically, I think I can do this by carving out time to do Internet stuff and not getting online when I’m writing; in other words, keeping creating and consuming time separate. This idea is a derivative of Leo’s manifesto “focus”.

I think it’s natural to go through binges though. I know I have those “I’m eating everything online” for a period and then I get into just writing and contemplating new ideas, too. But, for me I want to be able to recognize when I’m not in harmony or balance so I can get back on the right train track. I fear being mindless in front of my computer and I still find it weird that this is how we live and communicate.

Every day that I teach, I see how distracted my students are by the Internet. They are hunched over like old people. They cannot help themselves from reaching for their smart phones to check this or that. No matter how hard I try to keep them off their phones, they can’t help it. It’s their addiction. It’s their drug. I’m grateful for the students that can focus on the lesson and me and their classmates. It’s the way it should be, but we live in the age of ring tones, IM and games and more games.

It’s all about fighting urges, isn’t it? Briefly helping my b/f with his blog makes me want to go to my blog, but I’m reading a book. I stopped turning on my PC as soon as I get up in the morning. Yuck. I can’t be glued to the glow box before I have my coffee. I have to draw the invisible line somewhere. So, it’s only after I write in my notebook can I turn on my computer.

What is your morning routine? And your thoughts on goals and habits? Have you had much success?

Foods I love from Hawaii

spam-musubi

The SPAM musubi is the sandwich of Hawaii. Couldn’t agree more JR! [at Shirokiya in Ala Moana]

Folks from Hawaii talk about SPAM as if we are talking about sex or something better. I’m fairly certain if we replaced SPAM with the word ‘sex’ the giddy teenage excitement in our voices would be the same. SPAM is our bacon, our beacon of light, our bowl of comfort and a beautiful mess.

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(An expat reflects) here versus there…

All hail the king. [King Kamehameha united the Hawaiian islands and the people]

All hail the king. [King Kamehameha united the Hawaiian islands and the people]

Returning home to Hawaii after six years abroad felt as natural as diving into the Pacific Ocean. It was salty, sweet and refreshing. It was exhausting and revealing in ways that I had forgotten. And it confirmed my decision to stay outside the borders of the United States, coloring outside the lines, looking from the outside in.

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Chinatown, Hawaii

Chinatown, Oahu, 2015

Chinatown, Oahu, 2015

Visiting Hawaii meant not only visiting memories, but places where those memories are contained. Chinatown is one such place. Honolulu’s is one of the oldest Chinatowns in America and probably is one of the smelliest. So, I find it rather amusing that tourists come here and based on their 3 star reviews, visitors possibly find it dirty and disgusting.

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the urgency of today, going home, gaining perspective

Home.

Home.

When you go home, regardless how much you think you know a place, there is almost always the unexpected. I was only returning to Hawaii for 2 weeks, what could possibly happen, right?
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Long layovers in Korea and Bangkok

Hawaii. The goal. The destination tantalizes to travel far and wide.

Hawaii. The goal. The destination tantalizes us to travel far and wide. [North Shore, Oahu, 2015]

When I first booked my ticket back home to Hawaii, I was apprehensive about the long layovers I had both in Incheon Airport (Seoul) and Suvarnabhumi (Bangkok). Korean Air is known for 12 hour layovers to Hawaii from Thailand and as a result they have lost some customers along the way. I know I have passed them over before due to this.

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When the power goes out in Thailand

fire-on-the-wire-2

THAT’S a fire. When should I panic? I will panic now. [Chiang Rai, 2015]

I’m not entirely sure what causes a power line to catch on fire, in the rain, on the first day of a major Thai holiday, but it did right at our apartment.

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the missing teacher: a manifesto

be-the-teacher

I wrote a manifesto. I know, right? What was I thinking? Well, to be honest, this manifesto comes straight out of my book {the missing teacher}. It was a big deal when the “ah-ha!” hit me the first time, but now I’m so used to this idea, I don’t know what kind of impact, if any, it will have on others.

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I’m going to Hawaii.

What a history, what a State...Hawaii, you are one of a kind.

What a history, what a State…Hawaii, you are one of a kind.

I’m going to Hawaii. I’m going to Hawaii!

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Do you keep a journal?

do you keep a journal

For a long time, I’ve been keeping a morning journal. Originally, I did it as a necessity and it’s been my constant, true friend. Perhaps it’s self-indulging, as some might say, but as far as I can tell, it has helped me throughout my days and provided an anchor when I felt astray. I’ve been keeping a journal for many years – let’s just say for as long as some of you readers have been alive…egats.

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Its award season and I have nothing to wear.

You're welcome. [Chiang Mai, 2014]

Yes, it’s a cat in a sweater. You’re welcome. [Chiang Mai, 2014]

The blogging award season occurs between now and later and takes place around the world, where the majority of important blog awards reside. The origins of such socialist awards are relatively unknown, but we do know that a German or a German lover was involved (see Liebster), as well as versatility, inspiration and sisterhood.

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Why audiobooks?

I tried speed reading, but I don’t think it really fits my personality. Plus, I like listening. It’s nice to give your eyes a break. I feel like we use our eyeballs a lot and I fear my vision is going through another one of its annoying changes. Regardless though, there is something really lovely about being told a story.

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